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June 27 Racing against time!!Can you believe how fast this year is going? I keep panicing, thinking "My hell, it was just my anniversary the other day. Christmas is going to be here so fast. I need to start my shopping, or I will never be ready!!!" I feel like I am in a race against time, and I am always in behind! I joke with myself and say "I just need to get pregnant. Time goes so slow when you're pregnant." But then the outcome outways the present everytime. I don't want another baby. Especially right now. Life is hectic enough! I think Kyson will keep me busy enough! Just this morning, he wanted something on the table. I caught him climbing up and I got him down, pushed the chair in and went back to my business. He tried 4 other attempts before I finally gave in and spanked him. He just like to push me to the limit! It must give him a thrill. And to think, he's only 19 months old tomorrow!! What am I in for???? I guess everyone needs a child like him! Now he's holding the cupboard door shut on Hadley. She climbed in it and he hurried and shut the door and is sitting in front of it. What a stinker. She's is totally freaking out so I better go and let her free!!! I hope I don't sound like I am complaining too much. I really do love and enjoy my kids. I would much rather go through the trials and tribulation right now then to be one of those people who go through life, being too selfish to have children during the prime of their lives. Then they either never do have children, or have them in their forties. Both scenerios sound bad!!! I can't even imagine chasing a Kyson around at age 40!!! Anyhow, I am glad to have my kids. Well I guess I better go. I need to clean my house before I go get my hair done. Then I have to take my kids swimming!! Yuck!! June 05 My fun weekend!!This has been one of the hardest weeks of my entire life. I have been arguing with my husband all week long, and I am relieved that it's finally over. Or atleast it better be!! Guys can be so stupid and naive. They say women are, but I think they can be just as bad. I do have to say that my week ended perfectly. We bought a new truck, a Ford F-150 4-door, in Missouri. Bronson and I drove out to Kansas to pick it up and trade our Ranger in. I decided that I absolutely hate Kansas and wouldn't live there for anything. However, I loved Colorado, from Grand Junction to Denver. On our way back home, we stopped in Vail and ate dinner. It was the neatest place. It was a sportsman country club. You grill your own steak there. Bronson got a steak and I got shrimp Kabobs. We then grilled them ourselves, and they brought us our sides. We absolutely loved the place. We were seated under this huge stuffed Moose. It was so fun. After we ate dinner we drove to Grand Junction and stayed the night. We had a ball. It was the first time in a long time that we were alone without the kids. Infact, this was the first time that I had left Kyson since he was born. It was very good for us and we had some good quality time together. Then Sunday morning we drove to Emery and picked up Haigen. We really need to do that kind of stuff more often. It was too much fun not to. Bronson left this morning for Cedar. He has fire school until Friday. I was sad to see him go. He took our new truck and he's going to get a front level put on it and some new rims. We ordered a trailer hitch and some chrome. Guys and their toys!! But I like the idea also. June 01 Sleepless NightsEver have a night where even though you went to bed late, you wake up randomly throughout the night, tossing and turning trying to go back to sleep but you can't? That is me tonight. I am trying everything that I can think of to get to sleep. This is my last resort. What a night. Anyways, this has been a week from hell and I think that the stress has caught up with me. I am sick and tired of life coming so fast at me. It's a little overwhelming. I know you all know what the feeling is like. Well, my eyes are getting a little heavy; I better go and try to take advantage!! May 12 Just chuggin' along!!!Well, I have had a roller-coaster of a week!! I've had a bad week in a way, but had some very exciting things happen too! There are times when I wish I could just pack up and move away. Away from everything. You know those days when your kids seem like they are doing everything they can to irritate you. That has been my life this week!!! Then you have those days when your hubby drives you crazy. Like just for breathing!! Just kidding! No, I love my husband, but there are still things that he does that blows me away. Sometimes I wonder if he's not regressing in age. No, really, this has been a tough week on my marriage. However, I know every married couple has those times, otherwise your love for each other couldn't get any stronger. Trials make us stronger, makes everyone stronger. As much as I wish I could go through life and never fight with Bronson, of never argue, I feel blessed to have a husband that loves me as much as he does. He trully loves me with all his heart. But that's been the bad part of my week, now here's the good part. I went to my weigh-in Tuesday night, and it was the best night ever!!! I had lost 4.6 pounds last week! Can you believe it? I am so proud of myself. I have lost a total of almost 28 pounds since January. I am so loving it. I am starting to get the looks that I got a lot in High School. And people are so nice, and they are constantly giving me compliments on how good I look. My niece and nephew were baptized this last Saturday, and people that I haven't seen in a while just kept telling me how great I looked. When we got home, Bronson said, "Well, I don't know who got more attention, You, or Kehl and McKenna! But what can I say, you do look great!" However, I needed to hear those things because I was so wanting to jump off the wagon and not bother anymore. It seems that everytime I get feeling that way, someone says something to boost my enthusiasm. Thank goodness! Anyways, I wish a very Happy Mother's Day to all you mom's out there. May your husbands serve you as well as you serve them the other days of the week!! Enjoy your day!! April 28 YoU hAvE tO sEe ThE hUmOr To GeT tHrOuGh It!!!THIS LAST WEEK HAS BEEN MY MOST CHALLENGING TIME SINCE I MOVED HERE. I HAD A BAD DAY AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY, AND I THINK THAT I CHOSE THE BEST ROUTE I COULD IN THAT SITUATION. I WAS DEEPLY OFFENDED, AND REALLY CONSIDERED NOT GOING BACK, BUT IN THE END I LEARNED THAT MY TESTIMONY IS A LOT STRONGER THAN I HAD EVEN IMAGINED. I WILL NOT ONLY GO BACK, BUT I WILL GET OVER THIS, HOPEFULLY, IN A QUICK WAY LIKE IT HAPPENED. I USED TO THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE JUST TO QUICK TO BE OFFENDED, AND THAT NOBODY COULD OFFEND SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT THEY NEVER CAME BACK TO CHURCH. HAHA HAHA!! BOY WAS I OFF BASE. I HAD MY FEELINGS HURT TO THE EXTENT THAT I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK, AND I DIDN'T WANT MY KIDS THERE EITHER. BUT THANKS TO MY UPBRINGING, I WILL GO BACK BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER THAN TO DO THAT. AND I LEARNED THAT I SURE AS HECK DON'T WANT TO BE ONE THAT OFFENDS SOMEONE TO WHERE THEY HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS. I MEAN IT'S THE OTHER PERSONS CHOICE, ULTIMATELY, BUT I WOULD HATE TO MEET OUR CREATOR KNOWING THAT I HAD OFFENDED ONE OF HIS CHILDREN TO THAT EXTENT INTENTIONALLY OR UNINTENTIONALLY. THAT WOULD BE A BAD BURDEN TO CARRY, AND I WILL WATCH WHAT IS SAY TO OTHER PEOPLE AND I HOPE THAT I CAN REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS FOR THAT REASON ALONE!
ANYWAYS, ON TO MORE UPLIFTING THOUGHTS! I HAD MY WEIGH IN AND ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T LOSE THE 2 POUNDS THAT I HAD WANTED TO, I DID LOSE CLOSE TO THAT, AND I AM ABOUT A HALF A POUND AWAY FROM MY 25 MARK!!! I PUT ON A PAIR OF SWEATS THAT USED TO BE SKIN-TIGHT, AND THEY FELL OFF! I WILL GET THERE, I KNOW IT NOW!! I USED TO DOUBT, BUT I HAVE MADE IT THIS CLOSE TO MY GOAL NOW, AND I KNOW THAT I CAN DO IT. I HAVE THE SUPPORT OF MY HUSBAND AND MY FAMILY. I HAVE TO SAY THAT WITH ALL THE OTHER DIETS I HAVE TRIED, I AM TRULLY HAPPIER WITH THIS ONE. I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT TO, SO WHO WOULDN'T BE????? I HAVE FINALLY PICKED OUT MY HOUSEPLAN, AND I REALLY DON'T THINK THAT I AM GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND AGAIN. I PICKED THE BASIC RAMBLER STYLE, AND NO MATTER WHAT, I HAVE KEPT COMING BACK TO THIS ONE. BUT THEN AGAIN, I DO HAVE ANOTHER COUPLE MONTHS UNTIL WE ARE SUPPOSED TO START BUILDING, SO I COULD CHANGE MY MIND! YOU NEVER KNOW! I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO BE A LITTLE WISHY-WASHY ABOUT THESE KINDS OF THINGS!! April 21 ME & MY CRAZY LIFE!!!Well, this has been a crazy week. Bronson has started working his crazy summer schedule, and he gets home pretty late for this time of year! Peydon is happy to announce that he has FINALLY lost his first tooth. It's such a bitter/sweet feeling when your kids start stages like that. It's fun to watch the excitement in his eyes, but I feel so sad to have him growing so fast. I want to truly enjoy Hadley and Kyson right now. Sometimes I get sad to think that Peydon will never be the same again. Or I think about what I am in store for. I remember being a teenager, and hating my parents. Peydon is such a Mama's boy, that I get so sad to think that one day soon he will be going through that miserable stage. I just wich he didn't have to change so much!! On to happier news, I have lost 23 pounds up to date! I am still doing my diet, and loving it. I love the reaction that I get from people, especially when it's someone that I haven't seen for a while. I am hoping to lose another 2 pounds by next tuesday for weigh-in. Then I will have reached my 25 pound mark. I have finally set my lifetime goal and have about 20-30 pounds still to go! My friend Heidi joined Weight Watchers after coming to visit me a couple weeks ago. She just had a baby. She has been on the plan for 3 weeks now, and we are now weighing the same. She has become my encouragement, unintentionally! She calls me every Friday to report how she did, and then I call her every Tuesday and report how well I did. My competitive side is really starting to shine through again. I think it's been buried pretty deep since high school. It's great to feel that again. I have been taking my kids outside and going for walks or bikerides. The bikerides are still kicking my butt. I am going to buy a bike trailer for my little ones, so I can do the bike ride more. Heidi and I have decided to go on a shopping spree for new clothes when we reach our 130 pound mark. I haven't been under 140 pounds since I had Peydon, she hasn't been under 150 pounds since her early high school years. I am hoping to be pretty close to that goal around my birthday. Or atleast that's my goal for right now. I have started to live my life around goal setting. I guess I can handle that if I can get the results that I want in the end! March 31 Tomorrow is the DAY!!!!Can you believe tomorrow is the day?? I get to see Bronson FINALLY!!!  I am so anxious that I don't think I'll be able to sleep! I am also nervous, nervous!! I have lost 10+ pounds while he is gone, and I just got my hair colored today. I look a lot different then when he left!! Hopefully for the better! I can't wait for him to see me! I hope he likes what he sees!! It's fun losing my weight, and I am really enjoying my diet. I can see myself coming back to life. I look in the mirror, and I see the face that was there the day I got married coming closer, and closer to the surface. Everywhere I go, I get compliments. Today, at the grocery store, a lady that I used to work with came up and hugged me. It was weird cause she's for the most part kinda snobby, and not very talkative. But anyways, she hugged me and told me that I was looking very thin and beautiful, and that Bronson better consider himself one lucky young man! She told me to be careful and not let the wind blow me away! It was kinda windy outside, but I have to say that she lifted my spirits! I almost cried. It made me feel so good, and I don't really ever want to lose that again. Sometimes I could kick my butt for not doing something earlier. The best part is that I have been having a really hard week, and I neglected exercise, and I was feeling a little down, and not wanting to stick to my diet. She (not knowing) encouraged me to endure to the end. So I will. So a special thank you goes to Becky Brown!! As for tomorrow, and seeing my husband, I can't wait! I don't envy my sisters, and can't wait to hear them get excited when their husbands can return home! I think that they would agree that that will be the best part of the deployments!!! Anyways, I need to go and try to make sleep come. Any suggestions ??? March 28 I am going CRAZY!!Well things have definetly been challenging these last couple days! I guess they always say,"It gets worse before it gets better" That's the story of my life lately! I have been trying to get some spring cleaning done before Bronson gets home this weekend. What happens? Kyson gets sick!! The thing that really ticks me off is that he has thrown up in my bed twice now, and he hasn't done that in his bed at all! I have washed the sheets on my bed 4x in the last 6 days! Yesterday I shampooed the carpet in the Living Room and the dining room. I want to do the bedrooms this evening. I haven't decided yet if I am going to put myself through that torture right now or wait until a better day. It's funny, I thought I would eventually become a pack rat, like the many generations before me. But as we all know, life doesn't always turn out the way we thought. I find myself getting more and more tired with clutter, and I am constantly taking things to the DI, or throwing things away. I don't what is wrong with me! I hope I can keep this trait! Kyson woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed, and I don't think he has smiled at all today!! If he doesn't get some major sleep, I think Bronson may end up seeing me in a padded room, wearing a straight jacket! He has only slept 6 hours in the last 48! I am getting close to calling the Dr. and telling him he's got 2 choices. He can either prescribe a tranquillizer for Kyson or me! I know what's going to happen, I am going to get the flu the day Bronson gets home from Texas! That is my luck!!!!!!! Anyways, I atleast get a break tonight. It's my weigh-in night. I don't know how well I have done this week, I really haven't had much time for exercise!! Wish me luck! March 22 Nothing, then everything!!Have you ever notice how there will be days, sometimes weeks that go by so slow because you are so bored and there isn't really anything going on, then one day comes along that you have so many things going on that you don't think you'll ever get everything done in time to get on to the next thing going on that day. That was me yesterday!
I woke up and I was experiencing some stressful female problems that were not normal at all, so I had to go to the doctor, which I ended up late to because of road construction that I had forgotten about!
I was also tending my almost nine month old nephew, and I forgot to call my sister In-law to tell her about the Dr. appointment that I had to go to, so I foud a babysitter for Peydon, Hadley, and Krey, and took Kyson because he wouldn't stay! So I had an interesting visit to the Drs!
I get home, and get a phone call from my friend Heidi, who I worked with while I was working at Sorenson's Ranch. She says she is in Loa, and was wondering where I lived! She lives in Tooelle, and I don't get to see her very much. So she came over and then we took the kids (Peydon, Hadley, Kyson, Krey, her two kids, Kierra, and Drayton) and went to the Sunglow to lunch. Talk about crazy!! I am sure we had everyone's attention!!! It was nice to see her, and she stayed until about 4:30, and we all had a great time. It was so nice to talk to a friend face to face!!
So, last night was one of the busiest nights that I can remember in a long time! I had Weight Watchers, which I am pleased to say that I am only .6 pounds away from reaching my 10% Weight loss goal!! Yay! Now I can't wait until next week! I am so glad I decided to do this for myself. I can't even describe the happiness that I feel from doing this. I mean I feel so much better, both physically and mentally. I am constantly getting compliments about how great I look, I mean it has totally been a self-confidence make-over. I sincerely challenge anyone to make room for self-improvement, trust me, you won't regret it!
Anyways, then after Weight Watchers, I had to go to the Caucus Meeting here in Lyman. I actually found that very interesting. I didn't want to go, mainly because I really had no idea of what goes on there, and I really had no interest in politics. However, my father In-law is running for County Commissioner ( He's Crazy, I know) and he talked me into going to support him. So I did, of course, and now I am glad I went. I still have no interest in ever being involved in politics, but I learned a lot about how the whole election process is formed. It was a great experience, one that I am grateful to have participated. I feel that is probably when we, as the people, have the most say. I encourage any of you who have never been and participated in one of these meetings, to go out next year and get that experience.
So I am still counting down to the day Bronson gets home, and I am happy to report that he will be home in a week and a half!!!!!!!! I can't wait, it will be nice to have him back. This is definetly been something to remember during the future rocky spots that I am sure our marriage will go through. March 17 CRUEL DREAMS!!SO, I HAD A VERY CRUEL DREAM LAST NIGHT. I DREAMED THAT MY HUSBAND GOT HOME. IT WAS SO REAL. I MEAN WE WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF SEEING HIM AND HUGGING HIM AND EVERYTHING! THE NEXT THING I KNEW, THE ALARM WAS GOING OFF, AND I WAS SAYING "BRONSON, WHY DID YOU TURN THAT ON? TURN IT OFF!!" THEN I REALIZED IT HAD BEEN A DREAM. I FELT A LITTLE FOOLISH, THEN I WAS A LITTLE SAD! MY HUBBY MUST OF FELT SOMETHING, CAUSE HE CALLED ME 5 MINUTES LATER. I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE DREAM. HE FELT BAD. YOU KNOW, I WAS DOING REALLY WELL UNTIL THAT DREAM! I MEAN I WISH HE WAS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE HANDLED THE TIME RATHER WELL, UNTIL THIS MORNING. IT HIT ME THAT WE STILL HAVE TWO MORE WEEKS LEFT. I HOPE I DON'T HAVE TO RELIVE THAT DREAM EVERY NIGHT, OR I WILL REALLY BE MISERABLE! HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY! YEAH RIGHT! March 05 KIDS, KIDS, KIDS!!!!WELL, IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS, AND I AM HANGING IN!! MY KIDS ARE ACTING LIKE REGULAR KIDS. THANK GOODNESS FOR NIGHT TIME! BRONSON IS STARTING TO GET HOMESICK ALREADY! AND WE STILL HAVE 25 DAYS LEFT! IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER THOUGH TO KNOW THAT. HE CALLS ME 5-6 TIMES A DAY NOW, JUST TO SEE WHAT I AM DOING. ANYWAYS, I HAVE HAIGEN THIS WEEKEND, AND HE'S BEEN REALLY GOOD. MY HOUSE IS A MESS, BUT THE KIDS ARE ACTING BETTER THAN USUAL, SO I THINK I WILL WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW TO TACKLE THE HOUSE. IT IS DRIVING MY CRAZY, BUT THE KIDS' BEHAVIOR IS MORE IMPORTANT! YOU KNOW, I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT SANITY IS A PRECIOUS GIFT THAT I SHOULD CHERISH. MAYBE WHEN MY HUSBAND GETS HOME, I SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE & LEAVE THE KIDS WITH HIM SO HE CAN LEARN THAT ALSO! WHATEVER!!! WELL, IT'S A GREAT THOUGHT!! February 28 I am such a baby!!!Bronson left today for Texas, he will be gone for 30 days, and I made it so hard on him. I had known he was going to go for the last month, and this whole last week I have stressed myself out and today I cried almost all morning until he finally left. He felt so bad, & I just made it worse for him. He often has to leave to go on fires, and I never thought I would say this, but I have decided that I prefer the randomness that those fires bring. I think it's easier on me, on him, and the whole family. Knowing he was going to leave, bugged me for this whole last month. Everytime he brought something up about what I needed to do while he was gone, I would just cry. He finally quit talking about it until a few days ago. He finally said, "You know, I need to start getting my stuff ready for the T word." I smiled and agreed, even though it tore at my insides. However, through it all, I am so grateful for him. I thank my lucky stars that I am not in the position that my sisters are in. Having my husband away from me for 30 days will be tough emotionally & physically, but it's only 30 days. My sisters have to go through that everyday for long periods of time. I guess it is a good chance for me to feel for a little bit just exactly what they are going through. My heart is very heavy for them. I love them so much and it makes me very sad to see them struggle through their husbands deployments. See I am already learning more compassion!! Anyways, enough sadness! On a better note, I am going to take some time and do some things that I have needed to get done for a while, and trust me, I have quite a few projects to do! I have promised my kids to do some fun things while Dad is away. I have also set a goal to lose atleast another 10 pounds while he is gone! So I am going to try and channel all the frustration that I am sure that I will endure with his absence, due to children and bills and whatever else life throws my way, towards that goal. Well, I need to go before WWIII begins in my living room! February 26 Sundays!!Well, there is nothing like Sunday! We just got home from church, and we ate something small to get by until tonight. We have a Birthday party for my father in-law at Bronson's Uncle Emmett & Aunt Viola's. I can't wait. I married into a family that can really cook! It's like a hobby for them! And they love to have these huge dinners for someone's B-day and they cook these fancy full course meals, and we have cake and homemade ice cream, and I mean homemade. Like they don't use a mix, they make it all from scratch. I am on a diet, so I can only enjoy a small amount of it, but what can I say? I love food! I have been saving my appetite for tonight! I have to say that I really love my husbands family. They remind me of my own family. I am glad my children have the opportunity to really know both sides of the family. I just wish they could see my family more. Sometimes I get so homesick for them that I cry. But then when I am through, I remember Laura and I instantly feel better! I know sometimes the distance is a blessing, but I am grateful that I can go see them whenever I want! I guess this is what Sundays are for!! A great day for family, and if you can't be with them, just think of them!!! |
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